The wonderwall

I opened my eyes and I was walking on a road to no where. I don’t know how I got here and I have no idea where to go now.  Though I keep walking and try never to stop but when I started I was no where and still I am no where. Sometimes I just convince myself that, ok I may be going there, may be I don’t want to go there but I am… and sometimes I just can’t.

 Thinking about past makes me feel sorry and thinking about future makes me feel restless. So the only way is to think of present but then if you ask me there exist no ‘present’. The moment that you are calling ‘present’ has already fallen in the deep dark well of past. And the moment which you are going to say is ‘present’ is still somewhere on the clouds of future. So if I can’t think of past and I cant think of future and there exist no present then to keep myself calm and happy I should not be thinking at all, but sadly I do…

 Then I tried asking myself why do I feel sorry about past? The life I have right now, many people would die to have it. But then it seems a lie to me, to try to feel happy because someone else is sadder than you. Then I tried of thinking about things which I should have done, which could have made me truly happy and I could think of nothing. May be all along it was not my fault, may be its no one’s fault, May be I am just a kid trapped in this open world, stuck in a storm without a shelter and most sadly I can’t even figure out what a shelter means. So at the so called ‘present’ I am handicapped, I have a disability to feel happy about anything, I feel dark even in of my own shadow.

 Then I tried asking myself what can go wrong from here? I have nothing to loose, thing are only going to get better from here, may be future is my life. But then it seems all like day dreaming, future is something which defines the word ‘uncertain’ and my whole mental peace is a castle of sand on a beech of future hoping that the waves of time would never hit it.

 Thinking all of this I keep walking on this road, on which my last step, was my past and the step I am about take is my future and there is no present. The road which I could never understand that whether I took it or the road has taken me. The road which runs from no where to no where. There are no turns or no stops on it so I’ll have to walk on this road to no where.