The wonderwall

It’s a bright sunny afternoon in Italy, a Thursday and I am free from almost everything here,sitting on bench near the harbor of this beautiful city called Cagliari. People in this country really find it hard to speak in English. When I was as calm as sleeping with my eyes open, an old man’s voice threw pebbles in the pond of my peaceful thoughts. He said, with his best efforts in English, “Can you take a picture of me and my love, please?”, as I took the camera from his hands and  looked at the couple through the lens, they were around 60-65 yrs old. The man put his hand around the lady’s waist and she placed her head on his shoulder. This all may look like a ‘picture-pose’ but one thing that was not artificial and which was not a part of any ‘picture-pose’ was there smiles. I took some more pictures of the fresh-old-couple and then they walked on.

Looking at those pictures and realizing the importance of those fresh, satisfied smiles , I thought that may be its not time yet, may be I have never met a person yet in my life who would share those smiles with me. And those smiles are really worth all that wait.

To be honest guys I have already been in love(really) thrice in my 22 yrs of age. All the 3 times, it was true, honest and ever lasting from my side, but just from my side. All the three times I cried, threw things away, took up some bad habit, quarreled with my best friends n all , when I found that it’s again a failure. Every time I am the one who falls in love and every time I am the one who is thrown out of it. First time she was 2 yrs older to me, so she took it as a joke, second time her mother threw me out of her house and then they moved to some other city, third time ,the strongest one and the most painful one, I was late, she had some history, so though she needed me but not in the same way as I did. Yeah don’t worry some day I’ll write a book on women in my life, so wait for all the details.

So as I said that every time I was thrown out of love, but for the fist time that fresh-old-couple made me feel that I was actually falling out of all my ‘loves’ by myself. This feeling of falling out of it is really different from falling in, but in no way it is less beautiful than it. When you fall in love some things losses their focus and some starts looking prettier and prettier. I won’t describe the flowers, trees, lakes, her smile,nature, small talks with her etc. people who have been in love already knows it and for those who are yet to fall in love… I think they should wait. While, when you fall out of it those things that lost focus earlier again rushes back into your life and it all seems like a re-birth, you again realize the importance of those things, things like chatting all night with your friends and not only about her, things like drinking wine every night and roaming on streets without thinking about the fact that all this would make her angry, things like flirting with every girl you come across, things like sitting alone on a bench at the harbor on a Thursday afternoon spending time with yourself thinking about people who care for you and love you, and not just thinking of another way to make some one happy who doesn’t want to be happy with you.

This feeling is actually better then all the other 3 times I have fallen in love. This feels like me, not trying to be someone else for someone. All these things makes the sun more soothing, harbor more peaceful, the world more beautiful and my life worth living again.